Wednesday, January 30, 2008

To be a trucker

Has my life really evolved so much that it has brought me to this point where the only thing that matters is that I get a job at Port Newark with Best trucking, or am I just being delusional? I suppose we shall all find out together...

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Tops Diner

I went over to Tops Diner in East Newark earlier tonight with Sarah. One of the owners was there, John. He was my boss when I worked there part-time in April and May of 2007. I really liked the dude as we are about the same age, but one night we got into a fight over something real minor. I lost my temper and quit. Then as I was sitting in my car going over what had just happened I concluded that I should not have quit. I could not go back in the building though because I kind of made a scene and was way to embarrassed. I was praying in my car about it in the back parking lot and out comes John talking to some fellow. It was then that I knew I should just go up to him and apologize. Even if he did not give me the job back I still felt it was the only right thing for me to do, so I did it. Then he lectured me a bit and gave me the job back. I was really embarrassed though, but gave 100% to the job for the hours that I could work. A couple of weeks after that one of the managers approached me and said that they wanted to let me go because I could not work full time. My heart was broken. The manager told me to give him a call in a week or something, but I really felt like the Lord said not to call him. I had peace then, but I always thought it was sad the way that job ended. I even had helped a friend get a job there, but shortly after they let me go I helped her quit. It was all real weird now that I look back on it, but lately I have been wanting to visit them there. I really liked John as a boss before we got into the fight. After that happened though it seemed like it would never work no matter how hard I tried. Now though as I look back on it all - I see that it none of it really matters anymore. I made a few bucks there along with a few friends and that is it. No hard feelings - life goes on. Lets see, I saw John, Larry, Jesus and Alfredo. Along with a couple other guys I don't remember their names. What was his name? I can't remember this guys name. You have to pronounce it with an accent. Whatever! Anyway I just thought it was cool to be able to see some old friends despite how the relationship ended "abruptly" making me not want to reconcile. After diner I gave John my business card, but I figure the chance that he would actually find this post to be one in like a million. Larry (who I gave a business card to too,) I believe, would be more of a candidate of finding this post. I actually had a vision of John throwing my card away, but maybe I could be wrong about that. Who knows and who cares? Over all though it was a good experience and good to see everyone that I saw there tonight - again. I highly recomend visiting the place at least once if you are in the area.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Three things

Okay, there are three things that I want to share real quick. First, I just put the message that David preached yesterday - online.

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Second, I stopped by "Pronto" and they gave me a price quote of $250 just for the labor.

Lastly I just just wanted to post this youtube video of "Colored People" by DC Talk. I really wanted to make that my first song on my below playlist, but I could not find the full feature of it.

Monday Afternoon

I was going to name the title of this post, "Monday Morning," but since it is 45 minutes after noon I can't do that. I slept in late today till about 11am. I even went to bed early last night around 9 or 10pm. I just have not gotten a good 8 hours of sleep lately though. It is like a 4 hour nap and then 4 hours for bed, so that equals 8 hours. However, for me, when the chance to sleep in arises it is hard to resist not taking advantage. That is the story of my life...

I think that I am going to take a stroll down the street to see if I can get a good deal from "Pronto" to fix my water pump and timing belt. If I could get my car fixed I would be floating on cloud 9.

Church was pretty cool yesterday. We had this fellow, David Cordeau from International Evangelism, minister here. At the end of service I approached him for prayer about my finances. He said basically in a nut shell, "You reap what you sow. I know you know it in your mind, but it has to get into your spirit." I tell you though, he did preach a good message. I wish I could put it online, but once I start doing that I can't stop. We will see though. Alright I am out of here. PEACE!

Friday, January 25, 2008

stormy weather

I can't give up. I know this, but I don't see the sunshine. I just want the clouds to go away.

(For we walk by faith, not by sight:) 2 Corinthians 5:7

I am referring to Hinds Feet in High Places when I say, "I don't see the sunshine. I just want the clouds to go away."

Let me use the book's bible verse that sums it all up. It is Habakkuk 3:19 -

The LORD God [is] my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' [feet], and he will make me to walk upon mine high places. To the chief singer on my stringed instruments.


I was just looking around on myspace and I just decided that I really do not like that place. I do not know what it is about that place that gives me a sick feeling. I know a lot of people on there, and I was able to see what certain people have been up to. These are people that I have not seen for years and it appears that nothing has really changed. People stay the same. Where is Jesus? I am so hungry for Him right now. I just want to cling to Him and let His blood wash me clean again. My spirit needs that breath of life that only He can give me. Jesus my savior, my everything! In You I trust alone - I shall hide safely in You - my Secret Place.

Thursday, January 24, 2008


I am debating whether or not I should go back into truck driving full time. My friend (Murod) said that his drivers usually average $1000 a week in good months. Honestly I like the sound of that, but I don't want to mess up my life if I am wrong about switching back over... So my question is: how can I be sure that this will not be a mistake? I can handle small mistakes, but when the possibility of a mistake starts messing with my future I get leery. I just need proof that this will work out okay... The proof is in the pudding... Where is the proof? It is in the pudding. So then where is the pudding, so that I may taste the proof? Hehe Haha $1000 a week sure does sound good to me though.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I am waiting...

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 1 Peter 5:6

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philipians 4:6

I am so tired. I don't even know why I am still up. Monday when I got back from California all my anti-freeze from my car leaked out while I was running an errand. That made me a little nervous, but I was able to make it back to the mission. I have not been able to take a look at what the problem could be till earlier today (tech. yesterday.) When I went out to go work on it my mechanic friend Brad was out, and he graciously assisted me in finding out what the problem was. The water pump is bad. I thought it was pretty cool because he showed me what I would basically have to do to fix it, but I am not sure if it really is in my league. He gave me a price quote of about $300 to $350 but I am so strapped for cash right now that that offer looks overwhelming. I know the Lord has promised to supply all of my needs, but it seems that I have so many of them these days. I really need to be thankful because God has been so good to me these days too. Along with the needs I have also been given great blessings. Great blessings! I am so tired! I just have to believe that the Lord will show me what to do concerning this car. I have long felt that having a car and a PC where two great assets in this modern world. PCs are a cinch to me, but my mechanical skills could be lacking compared to my understanding of the digital world...

By the way, I have a maroon 1988 Ford Escort plastered with bumper stickers from front to back (as you can tell from my picture.)

I need to figure something out. I don't know what the Lord will do, but I am sure He will take care of me, as 1 Peter 5:7 says.

Christmas 2007 (Newark schools) video

This video was the Christmas video of us going into the Newark, NJ, public schools delivering gifts to kids. I was talking about trying to post this video the other day. I have one more video to post of a class of kids singing a Christmas song, but I am not really feeling up to attempting to post that one, also, now. Maybe another time.

All that's within me cries!!!

My heart sings a brand new song, the debt is paid, my chains are gone, Emanuel, God with us. Those lyrics are from the Christian band Mercy Me and the song is God with us. When I was in Cali I watched the movie, "Amazing Grace." It was powerful. I think that what makes "Amazing Grace," the hymen, so great is because of who it was written by. The x-captain of a slave ship. I always thought it was a rather boring tune, but when you think about how "wretched" people can really be and how God can save them through Jesus Christ - it is awe-inspiring. What more inspiration do you need then that? God takes sinners and makes them saints. He makes the worst of mankind and makes them the best. The God we serve is a mighty God!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Am I tired?

Okay, perhaps I could recap my day. First off I was up all night - mostly messing around online. Then came 9am prayer of which really was not very fancy, as our small crew here at the mission was split up because of the NJ Food Bank. Once a month on the third Tuesday we rent a small truck and get about 6 pallets of food. Some of it we purchase at discounted prices. Then there is food that is what we call USDA. This second group is very tightly managed and accounted for. I think then there may be a third group of food that has to do with perishables. I think that basically they just want to move it out of the warehouse and it usually is like two pallets of produce or something. I am not sure, but I think brother Anthony knows someone at the food bank who helps us out with this. I am not sure if that is supposed to be hush hush or something, but either way we do our best to give it to those who can use it. Honestly that is not very easy at times.

Anyway, "food bank days" are usually very challenging, and today proved to be no exception. Lets see, before I continue about that I want to share about what happened before we started to unload the food from the food bank. Pastor Tilly had me make a label for our Tilly's Kids Christmas "Thank you" DVD. We surely did go into the Newark public schools, and we made a DVD of pictures... I am debating how deep I want to discuss all this. My mind is racing with ideas. I am thinking about putting the DVD on YouTube so that you can see what I am taking about. Also I got a cute video of some of the kids singing a Christmas song. However thinking about doing all that makes me wonder what time I will make it to bed. Brother Anthony wants me to return the straight truck, we used today, tomorrow at around 8am. There are so many things that I have to do. Okay lets see, maybe I will get those videos up, maybe I won't... Okay give me a minute and I will try to post those two videos on YouTube for you.

Okay never mind about that right now. I am just to tired and I am having problems for some reason with the media. Getting back to day again - I made the labels for the DVD's. Boringly I put them on each DVD (I have not finished yet.) I think I have about 12 more to go out of 38. After that we had our Tuesday noonday service called; Sitting at the Feet of Jesus. Pastor Tilly spoke about a few things; one of which was about a missionary that our church supports over in Kenya. Everyone, who knows what is going on in the world, knows that Kenya, Africa, is having major problems, so I found it very interesting. We did a few other things, and then she read the 145 Psalm of which everyone shared something that they got out of the Psalm. For me it was the word: works. I noticed that in the chapter the word works is used five times. Then I began to think about the book of James when it talks about faith being dead without works. Here are three good verses in chapter two that show what I am taking about:

Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works. James 2:18

But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? James 2:20

For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. James 2:26

Okay now I really do feel like a preacher after those three verses. After service I helped the crew unload the food from the food bank. That was pretty tough, but the hardest part was yet to come. Somehow I was then given the honor of picking up 6 more pallets of food from a Feed the Children hub in North Brunswick, NJ. Normally this would have been a piece of cake. However, being that I did not get any sleep last night, it was hard. I was counting on taking a nap after work around 4pm. However, accepting this extra job would basically make me forfeit this nap before bible study tonight at 7:30pm. I ended up arriving back with the truck around 5pm, and then we started unloading it. We did it pretty quick with about six guys in about an hour and a half. The highlight of that experience was as I was catching boxes of juice as Leroy slid them down a wooden plank to me. One of the boxes fell apart. There where six juices in this particular box (each box on the pallet that we where working on at the time had 6 medium sized juice bottles in it) and I caught one of the bottles as it slid down the plank, but another bottle went underneath the plank bouncing off our basement steps and slamming perfectly into my knee. That did not feel good. I was also trying to work off a Charlie Horse too. I had to step out a moment and check to make sure that this is what the Lord wanted me to be doing. The pain went away after a moment, and we continued unloading as normal.

It was all Leroy's fault! (Just kidding... kind of...) This guy still never ceases to amaze me after six years. He walks with a limp, but he is the kind of guy who is always looking for a dollar to get a beer, cigarettes or perhaps even worse then those two. I have lost my temper on him more then once, but I suppose I did not really mind him helping this time because John was there and we needed the help. John can be a very no nonsense kind of a guy when he is under pressure (otherwise he is very funny.) He always works with Leroy, but long ago I gave up on him: for better or worse. I suppose I just got tired of Leroy lying to me and trying to con me. After awhile I just did not want to acknowledge him because he could careless about how I felt he should behave. Whatever though, enough about Leroy.

After we finished unloading the truck I came up stairs trying to fall asleep in a chair, for I was dirty and tired. Normally I would have took a shower and made my bed (I use an air mattress, and every Tuesday morning I have to put it away for 9am prayer.) Talk about a difficult evening. I would say it was about a seven on a difficulty scale of ten.

Bible study was at 7:30pm and Pastor Sam basically taught on Proverbs chapter 5.

Okay, bed time!

A video from California

Hello, lets see... This past Saturday January 11, 2008, I was just messing around on my friend Scotty's Apple laptop out in Escondido, CA, and was able to make this small, little, fun video. I know that it is not anything special, but it definitely sure was fun to make.

On another note there are two special links that I would like to share. First, the church that I attended Sunday: Summit Christian Church. Second, my future brother-in-law's cafe: Vinaka Cafe

Monday, January 14, 2008

Back in Newark

Hello Newark, I'm back.

As I was thinking about it and comparing Carlsbad, CA, to here in Newark, NJ, there are two things that stuck out to me. Carlsbad is loaded with money and they make their environment beautiful, but here in Newark I feel as if the Lord Himself has breathed life into me. Honestly Newark does not look pretty to me, but the closer to the mission I got the more spiritually alive I felt. It is like a choice I have to make: do I want the beautiful environment or do I want a great spiritual life? It is a tough choice, but I do believe that the spiritual life is more important than the physical beauty of an environment.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Happy Birthday Rach!


I am 28 years old and I have see some things that if I had a choice I never would have seen. One thing that has been on my mind since being out here in California is justice. Everyone has heard the old saying, "What comes around goes around." I actually would go as far to say that the bible has away of saying the same thing. "You reap what you sow."

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. Galatians 6:7

I am not very old compared to some out there and for sure there are others out there who have seen a lot more than me, but I have become convinced by my own experience that these sayings are true. It seems to me that the more that I seek to walk close with the Lord the more the Lord shows me how justice is carried out in the lives of others and in my own life. One thing though is that it appears to take time. Perhaps there are even violations or blessings that are carried out that are not even fully developed until long after the people involved are gone. To me, however, I have taken delight in seeing justice carried out in my own life. Seeing certain things taken care of by the Lord gives me confidence that on the days that I do face injustice - one day they will be corrected by the Lord. It certainly is a pity that certain things are allowed in this life, but at least we can be confident that in the end a person will get what they deserve. This is all the more reason for a person to choose Jesus Christ while they can. Certainly there will come a day when it will be to late.

In closing I suppose I will say that this is the most important thing that a person can do. Turn to Jesus before they die because after this life is over there is no hope; it is then that justice will have its way for better or for worse.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Hello there!

Well so it is going on 2am here in Southern California. I have been thinking a lot out here. I was able to make it to a church out here on Sunday called The Movement. I also found the site where my old pastor from Illinois preaches - Evangel Assembly. I think that both sites have something neat to offer. I think that The Movement is cool because you can subscribe to their podcast and for Evangel, Pastor Teryl has a blog.

Anyway lately I have had a lot on my mind, but I don't think that it is quite time to share about it all yet. I suppose that this little post could just be my way of saying that I am still alive. Alive and kicking. Anyway if I have anything else to share I am sure I will not hesitate. Be Blessed!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Happy New Year!

Okay it is officially 2008. This year is going to be great! I am wishing you a Happy New Year from a partly cloudy, but warm Southern California. What a difference in weather from New Jersey. I can't say that I am missing that part, but the Lord knows there is someone special to me that I AM missing there. 2 Weeks - I am planning on going back January 14th. Actually my fight leaves that Sunday night of the 13th. So far everything has been going well here. I just got a message from an old friend who is living out here and there is only one of my sibling that I have not seen yet.

On another note there was someone that responded to my previous post. There was actually two people but I think that the 2nd person wrote in Spanish. The problem is that I do not understand Spanish very well. However I know of websites that can give me a basic interpretation. Anyway I thought I would briefly respond to the first person's comments.

First of all it is not a religion that I am involved with, it is a relationship with God. Second, I am not sure that you have read any other of my posts besides my last one. I do not think that you can correctly understand my point of view by just reading my last post. This whole blog is like a big puzzle and each post a piece. Anyway I will say that you have a few good points, but at the moment I do not have the time to go in depth about them and explain my understanding and how I feel about them. However, perhaps in time I may be able to better do so.

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world. James 1:27

Praise God! Thank him for his marvelous works; For he has done many marvelous things!

O LORD, thou [art] my God; I will exalt thee, I will praise thy name; for thou hast done wonderful [things; thy] counsels of old [are] faithfulness [and] truth. Isaiah 25:1